What's 'parental alienation'? Why so many feminist groups are urging Justin Trudeau to ban its use

In an open letter, women's groups are urging Ottawa to ban the use of "parental alienation" claims through a change in Canada's Divorce Act.

Thestar.com
Jan. 24, 2024
Mark Ramzy

A coalition representing more than 250 feminist organizations took to Parliament Hill Tuesday and called on the federal government to take what they say is a crucial step to protect victims of family violence.

In an open letter presented during a press conference, members of the coalition urged Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, Justice Minister Arif Virani and all major party leaders to end the use of "parental alienation" claims through a change in Canada's Divorce Act.

"Too often, courts and custody evaluators consider that reporting family violence or asking for reduced contact between the father and the child are signs of 'alienation,' that is, brainwashing by the mother to make the child reject the father," the letter, authored by the National Association of Women and the Law says.

"This concept is leading courts across the country to separate children from their mothers and force minors, against their will, to live with their fathers -- even when there is a documented history of family violence."

The calls for a blanket ban come as emerging Canadian and international research casts doubt on the controversial concept that some say highlights how domestic violence is not taken seriously in family courts. Family lawyers have recognized the abuse of the concept in divorce proceedings but assert parental alienation remains a real issue that needs to be thoroughly examined rather than banned.

What does parental alienation mean?
Parental alienation is a concept used to describe when one partner unfairly undermines the relationship of their child with the other parent. It is widely recognized by courts across Canada and is instrumental in custody and access disputes, though the psychological theory it stems from has been widely disputed.

Court reprimands in cases involving parental alienation are often severe. The Star spoke to one woman, who was granted anonymity so as not to risk her ongoing case, who said she had main custody with limited visitations for her ex-partner prior to his claim she was alienating their two daughters from him.

"There were many expert witnesses brought in from his side, accusing me of parental alienation because of the children's estranged relationship with him," she told the Star.

"Then my kids were court-ordered to attend reunification camp in the United States," where she was not allowed to contact them, she said. "I had 48 hours notice to transfer care of the children from my care to his care."

"What they tell you is 90 days turned into over 500 for my oldest daughter and my other daughter is approaching 700 days," she said, referring to the time away from her children.

Following a lengthy review of the case, her eldest daughter, now 16, returned home, but her youngest is still with her father.

In tears, she could only describe the return of her eldest daughter as "bittersweet."

"I get one back, but I don't get the other one back," she said. "How is it in the best interest of one daughter to be in my care, but not in the best interest of the other daughter to be in my care?"

At issue, advocates say, is that accusations of parental alienation have become commonly used in instances where the parent accused of alienating the child -- most often the mother -- is a victim of family violence. The accusation has come to overshadow allegations of family violence in custody disputes, despite clear provisions in the Divorce Act surrounding family violence. It's become so rampant that some lawyers have advised their clients not to report abuse to the courts, said Suzanne Zaccour, NAWL's director of legal affairs.

The problem is not just in Canada. In June, the United Nations' special rapporteur on violence against women and girls warned against the use of the "pseudo-concept" and urged all member states to prohibit its use in family courts. Investigations by media in the U.S. and the U.K. have cast doubt on the use of "expert witnesses" to validate claims of parental alienation.

"If the mother does not raise abuse, courts won't know that they need to protect the child. But if the mother does raise abuse, courts find her to be alienating," said Nneka MacGregor, the executive director of WomenatthecentrE, an organization that fights gender-based violence in Canada."Either way, the children lose."

But one family lawyer who spoke to the Star said more dialogue and research on the issue are needed before any drastic changes. Toronto-based lawyer Amanda Smith said she has seen instances where the concept is taken advantage of, but has also witnessed examples that show parental alienation is a real issue that affects many children.

How big an issue is it?

In Canada, there is no official tracking of the use of parental alienation as an argument in family court proceedings, though a search of the Canadian Legal Information Institute's database shows at least 1,000 cases in the last 10 years.

In one recent study involving Canadians and women from other countries who had been accused of parental alienation, the majority of women surveyed said the claim was brought forward after they raised concerns about abuse from an ex-partner. A 2020 study for the Government of Quebec acknowledged violent spouses may use allegations of parental alienation to counter the charges of violence or abuse laid against them.

Although the concept is cited by courts as a measure to protect the long-term welfare of children, advocates charge it actually puts them at risk.

"There is a clear pattern that happens when women and children have experienced violence and abuse," said Simon Lapierre, a professor at the University of Ottawa and a researcher in gender-based violence. Lapierre said the 2019 Divorce Act amendment, which aimed to better protect children from family violence, was a step in the right direction, but more changes are needed, including a ban on accusations of parental alienation.

Striking the right balance won't be easy
The coalition advocating for a ban includes hundreds of national, provincial and local legal advocacy groups, shelters and organizations that support victims of sexual and domestic violence, including groups focused on Indigenous, racialized and LGBTQ+ communities. A petition to the House of Commons also calls for legislation to address accusations of parental alienation and reunification therapy. The office of the Minister of Justice did not respond in time for publication.

"It's one of the most difficult issues to deal with," Smith said. "There's a lot of voices that need to be heard."

But that urgency can't come soon enough for the woman who spoke to the Star. "People do not believe that mothers are losing their children in court. They can't believe that there's no contact orders. They can't believe how long it lasts. Nobody knows this is happening until it's happening to you, or until it's happening to someone that you know," she said. "It's isolating."